Doctor Who: Red Fish, Blue Fish
by Nick Grizzle
Summary: Following their adventure in The Peach Creek Invasion, the Fourth Doctor, Edd, and Marie travel to the far edge of the universe where they run into the Red Dwarf. (Dr. Who x Ed, Edd, n Eddy x Red Dwarf Crossover)
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

On the edge of the vast and inconceivably large universe, a lone red colored vessel drifts alone along the dust and starry backdrop. Three million years from Earth, it has been drifting on the currents of spacetime for just as long. That was until roughly 15 years ago relative to the vessel, the ship's AI woke the sole remaining crewmember who was in stasis during the time of an accident that killed the rest of the crew. That crewmember's name was Dave Lister. For 15 years, he along with his only companions were the ship AI, Holly, a hologram of his neurotic bunkmate, Arnold Rimmer, a creature who evolved from his cat, also named Cat, an android named Kryten, and a parallel universe version of his love interest, Kristine Kochanski, have been on many weird and strange adventures while trying to make their way back to Earth. Little did they know they were about to embark on the most dangerous and craziest adventure yet…

Chapter 1

Back on Earth, present day, Eddward Moore and Marie Kanker were packing backpacks in order to join the mysterious and time-traveling Doctor as his companions. A few days ago they helped the Doctor to defeat the threat of a Cybermen and Auton alliance with the help of their friends. After the battle and subsequent cover up by UNIT, the Doctor asked them if they would like to travel with him. They both agreed to join him, and thus is where they are now. Marie was frantic about what she wanted to bring with her. "What should, I bring, cold weather clothes...no wait, how a dress for dancing and stuff, or better yet I need to bring my diary… then again. Double D, please help me focus!" she said pleading as she went about trying to pack. Double D had already finished packing. He packed light because the Doctor told him that they didn't need to worry about clothes or gear since the TARDIS had a whole wardrobe and things for hiking, scuba diving, etc. Double D approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her lovingly. "How about your diary, camera, sketchbook and pencils, and toiletries. Remember, the Doctor said not to worry about clothing and stuff like that." he said with a smile and proceeded to kiss her on the back of the neck. Turning around to face him, Marie returned the kiss and said, "This is why I'm glad that I have you. I'll get those things together and then we'll be off to meet up with the Doctor."

Outside, the Doctor was in the middle of giving Sarah back her car fully repaired. It was damaged by the duo of Cybermen who was trying to capture her and Jimmy for their experiments. "There you are, I hope it suites your liking. Of course, it's not very often I get to work on automobiles. However, they are far easier than trying to repair a fluid link in the TARDIS, ha ha." he said gleefully as he handed the keys over to Sarah. Excited, Sarah hugged the Doctor, "Oh thank you! It is great, I'm just glad I don't have to worry about telling my parents about how my car got wrecked. Now I'll be able to go into town to the mall with Jimmy. Thanks again Doctor!" said the teenager as she went to test drive her newly rebuilt vehicle. "Bye bye." said the Doctor as he watched the happy girl went to go get her friend. As soon as he turned around, Double D and Marie walked outside of her house to meet up with him. "Hey Doctor, we're all ready to go when you are." said Marie as Double D walked up with their packs in tow. The Doctor smiled big as he led them to the TARDIS. Opening the doors to the enormous console room, "Well, let's see where and when can we go, oh yes, how about the silver colored vistas and plains of Zeta 3 of the star system Reticulum. Or we can go back to Victorian London and try to figured out who Jack the Ripper is. Or even still, how would you two love to see a living dinosaur, hmm? Better yet how about you two choose our destination." said the Doctor as he walked over to the console preparing the TARDIS to take off.

Considering their limitless options, Marie answered the Doctor's request. "How about the edge of the universe? Or is there one?" she said slightly embarrassed. Double D reinforced her suggestion, "Yes, if there is one I would like to see it too. I mean it would answer a lot of questions I have about the universe and all." The Doctor looked up with a big grin and said, "Indeed there is an Edge of the Universe, and it is quite spectacular." Flipping a few dials, pushing some buttons, twisting a couple of knobs, and finally the Doctor pulled a lever down and they were off. VROOMPH VROOMPH VROOMPH The TARDIS faded and vanished from the Cul-De-Sac into the Time Vortex. "The game's afoot and here we go. Hold on, sometimes the ride's a bit bumpy." the Doctor said excitedly as he played around with the control as they tumbled and twirled through the Vortex. Relative to the trio, the vessel mentioned earlier, the Red Dwarf, was teeming with activity.

The ship's android, Kryten, was busy doing the various chores for the other crewmembers. Externally, he was colored in black and grey plates with his oddly angular shaped head colored a light skin colored. He took get pride in his ability to keep the vessel's day to day tasks running smoothly. "Ah, there all of Mr. Lister's socks are clean and pressed, now what else is there to do. Oh yes, Ms. Kochanski's under garments need dry cleaning." Kryten made his way to her quarters in an awkward walk, like a drunk soldier trying to march. Kristine Kochanski was in her room reading a novel. She laid on her bunk and was deeply involved in the novel's plot. It was a murder-mystery type, and she was busy trying to figure out who murder the ambassador. She has finally adjusted to being in this universe and accepted being a part of this version of the Red Dwarf crew. She had left briefly the Red Dwarf when she couldn't take watching one crewmember in particular slowly kill himself with bad hygiene and bad eating habits. But, Dave Lister finally cleaned up his act and stopped trying to slowly kill himself. He had proved to her how he changed by finding her and becoming a robotics technician during the time she left. They were reunited about a year ago, and now things were a little bit better for her this go around.

Kryten entered her room. "Sorry ma'am, just coming to collect your undergarments for dry cleaning." he said as the door swished open. Looking up from her book she replied, "That's fine Kryten, I'm just reading and relaxing. How are you today?" Kryten, gathering her clothes hamper, replied "I am swell ma'am, I'm almost done with all of the daily tasks at hand. Ever since you came back, Mr. Lister is not as messy as he used to be which gives me more time to conduct scientific research to pass the time. I have took a great liking to focusing on my studies on the quantum rod. I think it may be able to give us a better power source to allow our FTL drive to be fully functional." he said happily as finished gathering the clothing. "That's great Kryten, let's hope your research pays off. Hopefully we can get back to Earth quicker with it." Kris responded. Then the red alarm sounded. Kryten and Kris made their way to the ship's cockpit.

However, back on the TARDIS, something went wrong. While the TARDIS flew through the Time Vortex, a surge of energy came ripping through the swirling clouds of colors and struck the blue box. This rocked the TARDIS around and violently shaking it. "BLAST IT!" shouted the Doctor as sparks and smoke flew from the console. He grabbed onto to the console as h tried to stabilize the TARDIS controls. Marie and Double D both held on to the seat they were sitting in. "What's happening Doctor?!" called out Double D. "I think we're in a tachyon typhoon. Just hold on, I'm going to perform an emergency landing." the Doctor replied as he activated the emergency jump switch.

In the dark and empty cargo decks of the Red Dwarf, the TARDIS materialized out of thin air. VROOMPH VROOMPH VROOMPH. The Doctor checked all the scanners and tried to figured out what happened. "Strange, very strange." he muttered to himself. Marie and Double D got up to join the Doctor at the Console. "What's going on?" she asked. The Doctor read the scanner outputs. "Well, the tachyon typhoon that hit us is usually uniform, and far stronger than even the strongest recorded in Time Lord history. Plus, it seemed to have an origin point. Of this suggests it's artificial." the Doctor answered puzzled. Double D looked upon one of the monitors. "Doctor?" he asked, "Where are we exactly, because I think we're in a cargo hold." The Doctor looked up at the same monitor. "Yes, I think you're right Eddward." said the Doctor.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the cockpit of the Red Dwarf, Dave Lister and the Cat were checking the planetary scanners to see if there has been any new planets detected. While they enough supplies thanks to raiding delric vessels and abandoned outposted, they sometimes liked to land on life-supporting planets to get some fresh air. Being cooped up on the ship could really get boresome. But, this time the scanners detected a surge of energy coming from around the ship. "What the smeg is going on?! All the sensors are overloading. It's watching zero-g footballers colliding into the stands." said Lister trying to make sense of the situation. Cat on the over hand was busy pampering his hair. "I don't know, but I've got to get this cowlick straighten out over wise we're going to have more hell to pay." said the Cat vainly. Immediately afterwards, Kryten and Kris came into the room. "What's going on?" said Kris taking a seat next to Lister looking at the scanner. "Dunno, it's some kind of energy surge…it's driving the ship crazy." said Lister. As soon as he said that the energy pulse dispersed.

Kryten made sense of the scanners' results. "Well sirs and ma'am, I believe I have found the source of the pulse. It seems that a massive tachyon distortion in sub-space is to blame here." he explained. Just as the mechanoid finished his statement, Rimmer came in. Smugly, he stood in the middle of the cockpit and said, "So, is the false alarm over?" Lister was quick to reply in a smart ass tone, "No, and a matter of fact it was real." Rimmer was slightly dumbfounded, "What, it was real? Then what happened?! Why is it I always miss something important." he retorted. Cat piped in, "What'd you expect goal-post head, you're always too late to notice anything. That's why you lack a fashion sense." Kryten added, "Mr. Rimmer, as I was telling everyone here, there was a pulse of tachyon particles that case a sub-space distortion. That in turn disrupted the Red Dwarf. Fortunately, there's no damage to the ship." Kris however noticed something funny on the monitor. "Guys, I think we have some company in one of the lower cargo decks. Whatever it is, it's carrying residue radiation from the pulse. I think we need to investigate." she said studying the monitor. Lister got up and putting on his hat, "Let's go check it out. Maybe we can find some answers about what this pulse thing is." As Kryten and Lister left the room, Rimmer jumped out the door screaming, "ALIENS!" The Cat and Kris looked at one another, Kris said, "I guess I'll go with them while you finish your hair." Cat, please with being told that, "Now's a trade!"

Meanwhile the object in question was stirring with it's own brand of activity. The Doctor was puzzled over the cause of the pulse. "This is odd and unnatural. A tachyon typhoon with uniform distribution and consistent strength throughout...capable of throwing TARDISes out of the vortex. Well, might as well have a look around this place. What do you two say, hmm, should explore?" Marie answered, "As long as we're out of danger for now. Why not." Double D also answered after looking up from the monitor, "Sure. It would help pass the time while we're waiting on the storm to pass." Walking over to the other side of the console, the Doctor looked down on one panel, "The ship's gravity and atmosphere is normal, and there's no presence of harmful microorganisms. Let's go."

Venturing outside, the trio walked into the hold. Examining the crates and boxes the Doctor quickly determined that they were on a mining vessel. "These boxes and crates contain large amounts of iridium and other rare metals. It must be an asteroid mining vessel. Interesting design, must be from Earth. I'd say judging by the smell of the air, mid-22nd Century." the Doctor explained to his companions. Double D and Marie marvelled at the thought that they were in a futuristic Earth spaceship. "Hey Doctor, how can you tell what time period the ship's from by smell alone?" asked Marie. The Doctor answered, "Like how a wine taster knows which vintage they are tasting, each period ship has a unique smell." Double D was intrigued by the structure and lighting. "It looks like this ship is built like an army tank. The metal plating must be at least a meter thick." he said looking at the superstructure. Then, the trio heard footsteps and around the corner, they were greeted by bazookanoids.

The trio were surrounded by the crew, with Rimmer hiding behind some crates in the rear of the hold. "Why is it every damn time I land on board an alien vessel I'm always greeted by guns? Really! Honestly, do you realize how rude it is to point loaded weapons at -" ranted the Doctor until he was cut off by Rimmer. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! You're not going to take over this vessel aliens, or my name isn't Arnold J. Rimmer!" At that moment, Lister, Cat, and Kris lowered their weapons and looked at Rimmer with a glare. "Shut up Rimmer and smeg off." shouted Lister and then proceeded to question the Doctor and his companions. "Hello, it's not often we get visitors especially humans. I'm Dave Lister and these are Cat, Kris, Kryten, and -" Rimmer cut off rudely yet again. "Why are you trying to buddy up to them Lister, they could be a new breed of polymorphs or stimulants, or disguised aliens." Before they started to bricker, Kryten interrupted, "Excuse me sirs, but I believe they are not polymorphs and with the exception of this gentleman, they are most certainly human according to the scanners." Kris, lowering her bazookanoid, asked, "How did you three get here?" The Doctor, studying them closely answered, "Well, by accident. My ship was caught up in the tachyon typhoon. We had to make an emergency landing. Sorry for the inconvenience." Double D step forward with Marie in tow behind the Doctor. "We don't mean any harm, your ship just happened to be the safest place for us to land is all." continued the Doctor.

Lister studied the Doctor, and then asked "What are you, if you're not human?" The Doctor, taking off his hat replied, "Right, so sorry where are my manners, I'm the Doctor and these two are my companions, Eddward and Marie. The mechanoid is correct, I'm not human, but a Time Lord." While Lister and the Doctor talked, Cat noticed the Doctor's scarf. Lowering his weapon and walking up to the Doctor, Cat defended them, "We can't kill this man, he's only second to me when it comes to style. I mean look at this scarf, you can beat that." The Doctor was a bit thrown off by Cat. "W-well thanks I guess, but may we please have passage on your ship please until the energy surge stops?" asked the Doctor politely. Lowering their weapons, the crew welcomed the trio aboard, except for Rimmer.

"Where's their ship and how can they land on board with a loading dock?" However, no one paid any mind to him. Going to one of the common areas, Lister invited the trio to sit down while Kryten went to go fetch refreshments. "So, the pulse knocked your vessel off course? I hope it wasn't too bad on ya." Marie answered, "No one's hurt, and the TARDIS doesn't appear to have been damaged. We just wanted to travel to the edge of the universe and winded up here." Double D added, "Yes, the Doctor's ship is the blue police box you saw us coming out of. It's quite impressive." Meanwhile the Doctor paced around the commons playing with his yo-yo. "So, Doctor is it, are there more of you out there?" asked Lister with anxiousness. The Doctor looked up and a little puzzled by what he meant, "Um, what do you mean?" Lister then explained the situation to the Doctor, Maire, and Double D.

Afterwards, the Doctor smiled and said to Lister, "No, there's more humans out in the universe, so you and your friend here are not the last humans. You just happen to be in one the more lonelier parts of the universe is all." Kryten returned with drinks and snacks, "There you are, I hope you enjoy these. Sorry for taking so, I had to check the ship's scanners, apparently another pulse was detected, but it was far weaker than the one from before." Everyone scrambled to the cockpit to look into the distrubance.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Is anyone going to have any of the snacks I prepared?!" said Kryten as everyone piled into the cockpit. "We will in a moment, Kryten, we just need to figure out where this pulse is coming from." said Lister as he took his seat at the controls. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver to analyze the data coming in from the scanners. However, Rimmer saw the Doctor's sonic, and proceeded to do something stupid. "HE'S GOT A WEAPON!" yelled Rimmer and quickly knocking the sonic screwdriver out of the Doctor's hand. Then he proceeded to stomp it. The stomping most certainly broke the device. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I needed the sonic screwdriver to analyze the data coming in-". the Doctor said annoyed. Once again, the Doctor was cut off by the idiot wearing the letter 'h' on his forehead. "Not today matey, you are not using that, that thing, to take control of our ship." said Rimmer in an irritating voice. Kryten stepped in, "Mr. Rimmer, the device was not a weapon of any kind. I believe it is merely a scientific instrument." The Doctor picked up the pieces of his screwdriver and placed them in his pocket. "Well, I guess we'll have to analyze this the hard way or at least until I get the spare out." the Doctor said to Double D.

Meanwhile, only a few parsecs away from the Red Dwarf's location, something sinister was brewing in a small, gaseous nebula. Orbiting a protostar, a circular and large space station was glowing with a bluish green hue around it's equator. Above the station were several saucer shaped spacecraft docking and orbiting the imposing superstructure of the station. It had a strong militaristic feel. They were lined with plates of dull gold and grey on the metallic walls and rectangular buildings. The buildings were lined up with airlock ports that were opening and closing continuously. In and out were what appeared to be 6 or 7 foot tall, black and grey salt shakers with cyclopean eyes on stalks attached to their domes. They also had what seem to be a plunger and egg whisk for appendages. These were Daleks, the most feared and dangerous race in all of the universe. In one of the docking bays, a whole detachment of Daleks soldiers lined the parameter in wait for a shuttle to land. The shuttle in question, was a similar color scheme of the station and the saucers that orbited it, but it was much smaller and cube shaped.

Upon landing, the shuttle opened on the side, and out came a Dalek that was crimson red with golden bars extending out from it's middle. It was flanked by others who shared the same red color, but without the golden bars. "DALEK SUPREME ON DECK. BEGIN SALUTATION PROTOCOLS." said one of the black and grey Daleks in an electronic squeal. The Dalek Supreme inspected the Dalek soldiers around itself. "VERY WELL, YOU MAY PROCEED WITH YOUR DUTIES." boomed the deep electronic voice of the Dalek Supreme. It was very brief and soon the other Daleks exited the docking bay responding with an "WE OBEY!".

Afterwards, the Dalek Supreme was approached by another Dalek colored green. "DALEK SCIENTIST, WHAT IS THE STATUS OF THE TESTING?" asked the Dalek Supreme. The green Dalek answered, "TESTING WENT ACCORDING TO PLAN, DALEK SUPREME. THE TACHYON IMPULSE BEAM MATCHED ALL REQUIREMENTS FOR EFFECTIVE OFFENSIVE COMBAT AGAINST ALL TIME TRAVELLING VEHICLES. HOWEVER, THE POWER REQUIREMENTS ARE FAILING. THE PROTOSTAR CANNOT CONTINUE GIVING ENOUGH ENERGY TO MEET REQUIREMENTS." The Supreme Dalek turned away from the Dalek scientist to one of his guards. "REPORT THIS PROGRESS TO THE EMPEROR AT ONCE. WE MUST FIND A MORE POWERFUL ENERGY SOURCE." The red colored guard replied with "I OBEY!" and went about the task given to him.

Back on the Dwarf, the Doctor's entourage and the crew were back in the commons area looking over the readouts from the ship's scanners. Kris, The Doctor, and Kryten looked over the graphs. "Sir, Ma'am, the scanners are having difficulty trying to discern what part of the electromagnetic spectrum the pulse belongs to. It's all over the place, from ELFs to gamma rays in a signal instant. However it appears that neither the initial pulse or the weaker second could account for all of the disruptions caused by the pulses. Also, another interesting fact is, the pulses only appear a great deal of time after the disturbances." said Kryten after handing the Doctor the reports. Looking over the papers, Kris added, "If that's the case, then the initial disturbances must have been travelling faster than light. That could explain why there's such a delay between the two." The Doctor looked at the times recorded, and took a sheet of paper and scribbled down a few lines of arithmetic. Finishing his calculations the Doctor said, "Well, the weaker wave is the source of the EM detection, and the initial one happened at the same time relative to us when the TARDIS was hit by the tachyon typhoon. Tachyons, being faster than light, cause a sort of sonic boom of electromagnetic energy that is weaker than the initial wave. Plus, it's not surprising considering the readings from my TARDIS and your readings match."

Lister was sitting across from the Doctor, drinking a lager decided to talk to Double D and Marie while the scientists were discussing the readings. "So, what brings you two out here in this dark corner of the universe, I'd figured the edge of the universe would be the last place for a couple's retreat." he said friendlily. "We were curious about whether there was one or not." said Marie contently while eating a tea biscuit. "We decided to travel with the Doctor after we helped him save our hometown from Cybermen and Autons. And this is our second adventure with him, if you count the last one as an adventure." said Double D as he added some sugar to the hot tea he was given. "Those are a bad lot. Cybermen, I've ran into them before. It was during my first run with the JMC. They tried to take over the ship. Thankfully, a group of space marines from a Space Corps detachment fought them off. It's a bit frightening. So where on Earth exactly are you two from?" said Lister as he finished his lager. "Peach Creek. It's outside of Georgia, USA." said Double D. "Oy! You two are Americans, like before the UN became the world government?" asked Lister excitedly. Marie answered his question, "I guess so, considering it was 2013 when we left."

Before they could continue any further, Cat walked in screaming like James Brown and dancing around in a circle. "Hhhhey, what you guys up to!" said the flamboyant humanoid cat as he sat down next to Lister. Lister looking at his friend who carried a handful of flowers in his hand. "Who are those for?" asked Lister. "These are for the blue haired lady. Wow!" said the Cat with a big smile. The gesture kinda creeped out Marie and she promptly turned down the gift. "Sorry, I'm with him." she said while grabbing Double D's arm. "Him, wearing that awful black beanie, girl you've got to have better style than-" Fortunately, Lister cut him off before he got hurt. "ENOUGH Cat! She's already got someone. Sorry about that, he's never had a ladyfriend." apologized Lister. "Says you, you couldn't even keep a woman." retorted Cat as begin to primp himself. While this was happening, Rimmer was still in the cockpit. "Let's make sure there's no damages, eh?." he said to the little robots called scutters. As he sloppily looked around the ship's controls, he bumped into one of the communications transmitters turning it on. "That curly haired bastard won't try something sneaky on my ship. What the hell are you scutters doing?!" he said turning to find the scutters playing a scene from a John Wayne Movie. Little did he know, he had just announced the ship's presence to the Daleks.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

On the space station, a group of yellow colored Daleks were monitoring the communications center picked up the unintended message. "ALERT! ALERT! UNAUTHORIZED TRANSMISSION DETECTED! ALERT! REPORT TRANSMISSION TO DALEK SUPREME! FIND SOURCE OF TRANSMISSION!" screamed the yellow clade Dalek to the others. Another one ranted, "ALERT! NON-DALEK SHIP DETECTED 20 PARSECS AWAY FROM STATION. UNUSUAL ENERGY SIGNATURE DETECTED! REPORT DETECTION TO DALEK SUPREME IMMEDIATELY!". One of the others complied with the orders, and reported to the Dalek Supreme and the Dalek Scientist.

In one of the station's laboratories, the Dalek Supreme and the Dalek Scientist discussed plans on finding a new energy source. "DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY WITH THIS WEAPON! WE WILL CONTINUE TO SEEK OUT MORE PROTOSTARS AND DRAIN THEIR ENERGY SOURCES." said the Dalek Supreme to the Scientist as it prepared to depart from the lab when the communications Dalek came in. "DALEK SUPREME, WE HAVE DETECTED A TRANSMISSION FROM A NON-DALEK VESSEL WITH AN UNUSUAL ENERGY SIGNATURE. THE SIGNATURE MATCHES THAT OF A QUANTUM ROD. THE VESSEL IS 20 PARSECS AWAY!" reported the yellow Dalek.

This report sparked both the Dalek Supreme and the Dalek Scientist. "DALEK SUPREME, WITH A QUANTUM ROD WE WILL NOT HAVE TO RESORT TO USING THE FINITE ENERGIES OF PROTOSTARS. INTEGRATION OF A QUANTUM ROD INTO THE TACHYON PULSE BEAM WILL ALLOW FOR GREAT MOBILITY." informed the Dalek Scientist. The Dalek Supreme was silent for a few seconds, then replied to the Dalek Scientist, "YES, WE WILL ACQUIRE THE QUANTUM ROD. DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY! DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY! DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY! WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!" The other two Daleks joined in with the battle cry. "SEND A DETACHMENT OF DALEK SOLDIERS TO RETRIEVE THE QUANTUM ROD FROM THE VESSEL. EXTERMINATE ANY LIFEFORMS ON BOARD! SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE! SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE!" The Dalek Scientist and the communications Dalek shrieked "WE OBEY! SEEK LOCATE EXTERMINATE!" They quickly left the lab to alert a platoon of Dalek soldiers to board a battle cruiser. "VICTORY WILL BE OURS! DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY!" said the Dalek Supreme.

Meanwhile back on the Dwarf, the Doctor was having a hard time trying maul over the number and figures. The calculations were simply too big for him to do it by hand. "Blast! Too many variables! Kryten, I'd hate to impose, but are you capable of doing complex analytical geometric calculus of spatial quantum fields?" pleaded the Doctor. Everyone looked at the Doctor scratching their heads trying to understand what the Doctor said. Kryten quickly broke the awkwardness. "I'm sorry Doctor, but I'm afraid I am unable to perform those types of calculations. However, if Holly was online, he could perform them in five minutes. Give or take a minute." answered Kryten. Hearing of the mention of Holly, the Doctor inquired, "Is this Holly an AI?" Lister, stepping over to the Doctor's table, "Yeah, he's the ship's AI. However he's been offline due to water damage that happened about five years ago." The Doctor pondered over the possibility about fixing the damaged AI, until Rimmer walked in.

"Well Scarfy, you thought you could be sneaky and tried to screw around with our scanners! I seen to that and recalibrated the scanners back to their operational standard." However, no one paid him any mind. "So, Lister, can you take me to Holly, I may be able to fix it with some extra components I have in the TARDIS. Eddward and Marie, would you two kindly fetch those components. There's in the electronics lab, which is the fifth door on the right in the corridor coming from the control room." asked the Doctor to both parties. All three agreed to fufill the Doctor's requests. Lister, Catand Kryten took the Doctor to Holly's data core, while Kris and Rimmer went with Double D and Marie to the TARDIS.

As the second group walked to the cargo hold, Rimmer became increasingly more annoying. "So really think we're buying this bull about curly haired smeg head wanting to fix Holly. He'll probably initiate a self-destruct sequence or something. Besides, what makes him think he can cure the computer senility Holly has, hm?" Kris turned around, "Shut up Rimmer, at least he's doing something to help us unlike you and your narcissistic attitude. The man attempted at trying to do quantum math off the top of his head. Seems to me, the Doctor knows what he is doing." she said annoyed with the hologram. Double D and Marie paid no mind to the argument and continued to the TARDIS. They learned from their last adventure to listen to the Doctor and do exactly as he said.

However, since the light was dim, Marie accidently bumped into a tray and caused a test tube to crash on the floor. Kris, ignoring Rimmer, reacted along with Double D to check on Marie. "Did you get cut?" asked Double D followed by Kris asking "Are you ok Marie?". "I'm fine, sorry about the test tube." Marie replied. Double D pushed the glass under the counter with his foot. He failed to notice the liquid inside the tube got smear over the bottom of his shoe. "That's breaking Space Corps directive which requires an accident report be filled out-" Rimmer piped out, but was cut off by Kris, "Shut up Rimmer." They finally made their way to the TARDIS after having to listen to Rimmer ranting about the regulations and all.

On the other side of the ship, Lister, Kryten, Cat, and the Doctor made their way to Holly's data core. "This is it. Holly's data core." said Lister leading the Doctor through the litter and junk. "Yes, definitely water damage in here. Where's the central CPU and motherboards at?" asked the Doctor as he picked up his scarf to keep from being tripped up. Lister motioned him over to a large, cylindrical column of wiring, circuit boards, and cubes of graphene microprocessors. Upon examining the links and cooling system, the Doctor determined which boards were the most waterlogged. "Well there's your problem." said the Doctor with humor, mimicking Adam Savage from Mythbusters. This of course caught the attention of Cat. "You do impressions too. What can't you do?" said Cat with interest. The Doctor, removing the damaged boards, replied, "Yes one thing I cannot do is cook. I tend to get distracted and burn anything." Lister, laughing a little, added in, "Don't feel too bad Doctor, he burns things too." The Doctor however missed the comment, becoming deeply involved into the repair.

Inside the TARDIS, Double D and Marie went into the cluttered electronics lab to fetch the extra parts needed to fix Holly. "Ok, which box are the components in? Messy, messy, messy". said Double D as he went through the dusty metal boxes. Marie on the other hand seemed to be day dreaming. Or rather, either that or being hypnotized by Double D's presence. Like a naturalist studying wild animals, her cobalt eyes moved as her boyfriend moved. "Oh the things I would do to you…" she said under her breath. "What's that? Sorry I didn't hear you." said Double D as he read the labels on the boxes. This snapped Marie out of her quasi-euphoria, and made her jump. "Uh-uh, yeah sorry I was saying I think the the box the Doctor was talking about right next to the one below you in the shelf." Bending down to get the box, Double D checked the label. "Yes, this it is. AI Computer Parts and logic boards. Let's get these to the Doc-" Double D attempted to say but instead was sharing a very passionate kiss with Marie.

Inside the console room, Kris and Rimmer were amazed that they were standing in something that was bigger on the inside. "Wow, so this is the Doctor's ship. Why does it look like a bloody police box?" asked Rimmer. Kris, running her hand over the controls, studied the console. "It's certainly far more advance than anything else we've encountered." she said in response. Stumbling out the corridor adjacent to the pair's location, Marie and Double D came out sweating. Kris took notice, "Are you two ok, it seems you both are having a heat stroke." Slightly embarrassed, Double D came up with a quick lie, "Um, I think the Doctor left the heat on in that room."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Above the Dalek's battle station, a combat shuttle was undocking from one of the many docking towers. Compared to the massive saucers, the shuttle was a tiny, dumpster shaped box. In the rear of the shuttle the engines lit up with a bluish hue as it detached from the tower. Inside it were twenty soldier Daleks along with one of the crimson red guards from earlier and the Dalek Scientist. Also on board was a blue specialist Dalek, with boarding tools, such as laser cutters, attached to his exterior. "COMBAT SHUTTLE 966 YOU HAVE CLEARANCE FOR TRANSWARP, STAND BY FOR COORDINATES." said one of the docking tower operators over the communicator. A few seconds later, the shuttle flashed in bright light and immediately darted to the Red Dwarf.

Marie, Double D, Kris, and Rimmer returned to the others with the much needed components for the Doctor to finish repairing Holly. "Alright, did you bring the spare sonic screwdriver?" asked the Doctor as he inserted the new board. Marie answered, "Yes, right here Doctor." as she handed him his spare. She walked over to Double D after he set the second box of components next to the Doctor. "Hey babe, would you come with me right quick." she said with a seductive smile as she took hold of Double D's hand. Since wasn't needed by the Doctor anymore, Double D went ahead with Marie to go see what she wanted.

On the other hand, Lister assisted the Doctor installing the parts and wires. "Ok, take the red wire and attach it to port four. Make sure the current is 47 microamps." said the Doctor to Lister as he placed the final board in. "47 microamps exactly Doctor. Kryten, go ahead and initialize Holly's primary programs, so that way it won't take long for him to boot up." asked Lister. "Yes sir." as Kryten started to type in the command sequences on the keyboard. Kris, cleared away the debris in the room, then proceeded to check the power leads coming into the room. "The connections are clean and functioning." as she informed the Doctor. Rimmer on the other hand went to go into the cockpit to check the scanners. Kryten, reading off the monitor, "Sirs, Holly is ready for boot up sequences. Doctor, your repairs work!". Everyone cheered, "YAY!".

A few minutes laters, Holly was fully booted up and said to everyone, "How's it going dudes? By the way, who are those two messing around in the janitorial closet?" Looking around, Lister realized, "I think the lovebirds have ran off somewhere." he said with a small laugh.

However no one paid any mind to the comment because Rimmer came running in, "Um, we've got company. Some shuttle is trying to attach itself to the port side of the ship." he said panicking. "Hello to you too Arnold, and oh yeah, we've got an emergency. Aliens are attacking the ship." said Holly. "Is there any transmissions?" asked the Doctor as he quickly jumped up from his seat. "Yeah, it's very annoying. They keep saying exterminate over and over again." replied Holly. The Doctor froze with fear realizing what the whole group was about to face. However, Cat was dancing around and down the hallway saying "Yow!" every few minutes. As he passed by a closet, he heard a knocking. "Hey, whoa, who's knocking on the door?" he said putting his ear against the door. Hearing some heavy breathing, Cat decided to open the door. "Wow, so that's how you guys do it!" Double D and Marie were both shirtless and thoroughly red with embarrassment. They quickly struggle to put their shirts back on when the whole ship shook, knocking Cat in there with them. "Hey, I can play around too." said Cat excitedly. But, this was the least of their troubles.

At the same time, the Dalek shuttle had clamped on to the port side of the ship. At the airlock, a glowing red line encircled the seal. "WE ARE AT 95% ON CUTTING, PREPARE EXPLOSIVES!" said the Dalek Specialist. One of the Dalek soldiers went up with a small bomb against the airlock door. Once the Specialist cleared away from the blast area. BOOM! The resulting explosion was what rocked the ship. In the cockpit, the rest of the gang was in there trying to plan how to fight back and were shortly joined by Double D, Marie and Cat. Rushing in, Double D asked, "Was there another pulse?". The Doctor looked up and said "No, something much worse. All of you get away from the door." After the rio moved away from the door, the Doctor locked and sealed it using his sonic screwdriver. "There, that should buy us some time to formulate a plan. Holly, can you give of a feed of where they are coming in at?" requested the Doctor as he sat down in one of the chairs.

"Yes, Doctor, I can upload it in here. I'll patch into the security footage. I bet you guys missed me didn't you?" Lister answered, "Yeah, you have no idea Hol. Doctor, what are those things coming in?" The Doctor however was in deep thought trying to piece together why the Daleks were here. He then jumped up and turn to the main monitor. "Those things are Daleks, the most dangerous beings in the universe. My question is what are they looking for. Usually they would have destroyed the ship without a second thought. However, they are boarding it instead. Which means this ship has something they want." the Doctor said watching the screen being filled up by the hate filled creatures.

Lister suggested, "Can bazookanoids hurt them?" The Doctor sat and thought and asked, "What caliber are they?" "They're 57mm, and we have high explosive rounds." said Lister. "They can work, but you'll have to aim for their heads, which is their only weak point for your weapons, and sneak up on them. Otherwise, they will throw up a small force field to protect themselves." answered the Doctor. Rimmer, while liking the plan pointed out a major flaw, "That would work, but how are we going to get them when they are in the cargo hold?" Kris stood up, "Well, since Marie and I are the smallest here, we could go up into the vents and take them to the cargo holds. Holly can guide us through them. What do you say Marie?" Marie, still a little because of earlier happily replied "Sure, let's go for it." "Excellent idea, but just be sure to stay out of sight from the Daleks. They will kill you on sight. Next, do you have any space suits?" asked the Doctor to Lister. "Yes Doctor, what do you have in mind?" answered Lister. "We're going to dislodge their shuttle. They'll be trapped here." said the Doctor. List and the Doctor walked over to the door's window to check to see if the coast was clear. "Sir, we can monitor where the Daleks are at from here and report to all of you where are heading." replied Kryten as the Doctor unlocked the door. "Alright then. Try to figure out what they are looking for. Once you find out, bring back here and lock the Doors until Lister and me get back here." commanded the Doctor as he and Lister go out to a different airlock where the space suits were kept. Double D and Kryten helped Kris and Marie in the air ducts. Double D kissed Maire and told her "Good luck."

On the other side of the ship, the Daleks quickly assembled to search the decks for the quantum rod. "ATTENTION ALL UNITS, YOU WILL SPLIT UP INTO GROUPS OF FOUR. EACH GROUP WILL SEARCH ONE DECK AT A TIME. MAINTAIN CONSTANT COMMUNICATIONS. ONCE IF ANY GROUP FINDS THE QUANTUM ROD, PROCEED TO TAKE IT BACK TO THE SHUTTLE. IF YOU FIND ANY LIFEFORMS, EXTERMINATE THEM! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" replied the red colored Dalek. All the others cried out with their electronic voices "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" and went about their tasks. Little did they know, the Dales had just revealed their intentions.

"The quantum rod, of course it makes sense now. An all-powerful object to power something, something big." said Rimmer as he lounged in the pilot's chairs. Kryten explained to Double D what the quantum rod was and what it was capable of. "This rod allows for all kinds of strange things to happen on the macro scale as well as the quantum scale. On the Trojan it was used as part of their FTL drive as oppose to transwarp drives. It can put out more power than a thousand supernovas." finished Kryten as lectured Double D on the matter. "We need to get it before they do. But we'll have to be sneaky." replied Double D as he prepped himself. "That's fine, you go fetch the quantum rod, and I'll stay here to keep an eye on things." said Rimmer said Rimmer with a smirk. Double D got pissed. "I'm not a member of the crew dumbass, now you better get off you're holographic ass and help us or I'll be sure to tell the smegging Daleks where you are." This threat was enough to get Rimmer scared shitless and out the door. "Alrighty then mateies this way." piped Rimmer as he stepped outside.

In spacesuits in one deck below the cockpit on the starboard side, the Doctor and Lister embarked outside the ship. After the airlock depressurized, they went outside and activated the magnetic boots they were wearing. Then it was a simple matter of walking up the hull of the ship. "This always messes with me Lister. Just think, if you tried this anywhere else, you would most certainly fall on your ass." laughed the Doctor through the radio. "Yeah, I use to have the same feeling, but since I got ship painting duty so much I got use to it." Lister replied back. It was shame that the beautiful sight of seeing all of the stars and such in a space walk had to ignored because of the mission to rid the ship of the Daleks. Slowly but surely they made their way to the other side where the shuttle was attached. However, Marie and Kris were having a harder time getting to the weapons.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE! SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE! SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE!" echoed throughout the air ducts as Marie and Kris crawled their way to the cargo hold. Kris lead the way, while listening to Holly via the communication watch. "Okay, up ahead there's a fourway. Take the one on the right." said Holly calmly. "I'm starting to get a creak in my back from all of this crawling, how are you holding up Marie?" said Kris quietly as she stopped for a moment. "Okay for the most part, just my foot has fell asleep. How much further?" whispered Marie. After resting for a few seconds, they went ahead to the fourway. When they got there, there was creaking noise. underneath them.

"What was that?" whispered Marie. But before Kris could answer Marie almost fell through the vent with a large crashing noise. This most certainly attracted the attention of the Daleks. Marie, was holding on to the edge with dear life, struggling to get back into the duct before the Daleks came in. "Hold on Marie!" said Kris as she went to help pull her up. Just in the nick of time too, because a Dalek soldier had just came in. "EXTERMINATE!" it screamed as it fired at the hole in the ceiling. The women scramble through the vents quickly to put some distance between them and the Dalek continuously shooting the hole. "That was way, way too close." said Marie to Kris as they continued. "Yeah, let's keep going because the more distance we put between us and them, the sooner they will lose us." replied Kris.

Out in the vacuum, The Doctor, Lister, and the Cat made it to the other side of the ship. "This is a great workout for my devilish good looks!" said Cat excitedly over the radio. "Quiet Cat, we need to concentrate on getting to the shuttle." said the Doctor sternly as they made their descent to the shuttle. "Man, for a guy who comes second after me in style has sure got a mean attitude." said Cat. Finally reaching the shuttle, the trio stepped onto the bridge between the shuttle and the ship. "No sign of Daleks Doctor." said Lister with a little static. The Doctor used the sonic to unlock the shuttle's door. "Alright, let's see if we can disengage the magnetic clamps at the control panel." crackled the Doctor on the shortwave. The inside was dark and airless. Turning on the overhead lights on their helmets, they continued to the front of the shuttle.

There, they found the controls of the ship. However, there was no buttons or touchscreens. Just bumps for the Daleks to place their plunger appendages at. "How are we going to operate the controls?" ask Cat as he looked around. The Doctor tried his sonic screwdriver, but to no effect. "Hell's donkey, the control are dead locked. We need to find another means of dislodging the shuttle." said the Doctor. Lister was quietly exploring the back of the shuttle looking for anything that would be helpful. As he turned around the corner, he came face to stalk with the Dalek Specialist. "EXTERMINATE!" flashed the lights on the Dalek's dome. Of course they didn't hear the battle cry being out in a vacuum. Lister ran back toward the front screaming, "There's one in here in!" in fear. The Doctor and Cat both looked up and saw Lister coming toward them with the Dalek Specialist right behind them.

Back on the ship, Double D, Kryten, and Rimmer sneakily dodged Daleks making their way to the lab where the quantum rod was stored. Jumping behind a vending machine, the trio spotted a Dalek soldier up ahead. "Ok, now what?" said Rimmer whispering. "We wait until it leaves. Once it turns away, we'll go one by one to that nook over there." said Double D trying to think ahead. "Sir, I have a suggestion. Mr. Rimmer you can scout ahead for us, by flying your light bee over there, without emitting your hologram. If you stay close to the ceiling, the Daleks won't notice you. Plus you won't be at risk of being attack." suggested Kryten. Rimmer wasn't too pleased, 'but on the other hand it was better than the others he thought to himself.' The Dalek had went away,

Rimmer took his chance. His light bee sped away to the other end of the hallway. "All clear!" said his disembodied voice. Double D got ready to move when the vending machine took notice. "Hello sir, would you like tea!" Of course the Double D and Kryten booked it to join back up with Rimmer. Not too far behind the Dalek from earlier came back and firing at the vending machine. "EXTERMINATE!" cried the Dalek as the vending machine blew up in fire and smoke. Having to abandon stealth in favor of getting the hell out of there, the trio ran as fast as they could to the lab.

Marie and Kris themselves were having more Dalek trouble. They finally made it to the vent that lead to the cargo hold, but the entire area was swamped with Daleks. "SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE!" repeated the Daleks over and over again. "These smeggers are driving me crazy with their chanting. Any ideas on how we're getting down?" said Kris intently. Marie, her heart still racing from earlier, didn't have any ideas. "Fresh out of them." However, Holly had an ace up his sleeve. "You two rest for a moment. I've got an idea." he said through the watch. Then, another voice interrupted the Daleks' chanting. "Oy! Trash cans, can't catch me! I'm in the airlock!". All of the Daleks quickly head to the airlock at the end of the hold. "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" was chanted as the Daleks all went inside the airlock chamber.

The door was shut behind them. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" question one of the Daleks. Holly appeared on the monitor and told them, "Smeg off trash cans." and opened the door outside. The Daleks were immediately sucked out in the void. "Right, looks like I forgot to decompress the airlock before I opened it. Oh well, I'm sure they'll be alright." said Holly with a smirk and a wink. "Good one Holly, too bad we can't do that to all of them." Said Kris as she undid the vent. "Yeah, but it won't kill them though. However, I'm not complaining either." said Marie with a laugh. After they got out of the vents they went to the gun cabinet. After Kris gave Marie a brief lesson on to use them, they locked and loaded ready to blow the other Daleks to kingdom come.

Meanwhile, the Doctor, Lister, and Cat were trying to fight off the Dalek Specialist. As it drew closer, the Doctor had a stroke of genius he used his sonic screwdriver to blind the Dalek. "OPTICAL SENSORS IMPAIRED! EMERGENCY! EXTERMINATE!" said the Dalek as it went out of control trying to kill the trio. Fortunately it didn't have the gun stick of the other Daleks, but it still had it's cutting laser on. "Get behind it!" yelled the Doctor as they grabbed ahold of the Dalek. "Let's push his ass outside!" Lister screamed as he took hold of left side. Cat took the right side, the Doctor the middle, and all three of them pushed the Dalek outside and off the bridge. The Dalek drifted and bounced off the hull of the Red Dwarf and below the shuttle.

Afterwards they went back into the shuttle to find a way to dislodge the shuttle. "Well, the controls are useless. Did either of you find any tools?" asked the Doctor over the radio. "Nope, I'm thinking we're just going have to go back to the Dwarf and use something there to get rid of it." said Lister trying to catch his breath. Cat on the other hand found a circular box. "Hey, I think I found some large cans of tuna." he said to the others. But, once Cat got the box opened he was displeased. "Ah, hell this isn't tuna." he said disgruntled. The Doctor however studied the box. "Gentlemen, I think we have our answer. Those are explosives." said the Doctor with a grin.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Running and dodging plasma fire from the Dalek chasing them, Double D, Rimmer, and Kryten made a quick cut to the right inside a utility room. Inside the room, there were various tools and containers for painting the ship's hull. "EXTERMINATE!" cried out the Dalek as it ran them down. Being inside this room, Kryten had thought quickly on how to stop the Dalek. Picking up a can of magnetic hull paint, Kryten stood at the edge of the entrance of the room ready. Double D and Rimmer stood at the other side waiting too. "SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE!" said the Dalek as it entered the room. As soon as it did, all the Dalek could see was red. "VISION IMPAIRED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" it screamed out firing randomly. Double D and Rimmer managed to get out unscaved. However, Kryten got hit in his chest by the Dalek's gunstick before he got out. Rimmer quickly locked the door on the Dalek to keep it trapped. "There, he won't bother us anymore." said Rimmer proudly. Double D helped Kryten, "Kryten, you got hit, are you ok?" asked Double D frantically. "Yes sir, none of my vital systems were damaged. My self repair systems will engage in a few seconds. We need to continue to the lab." said Kryten as he led the way.

Down the hallway was the lab. Quickly and quietly, the trio went ran inside and closed the door. Inside, Double D and Rimmer sat down while Kryten removed the quantum rod from the lead-lined containment unit. "Holly, anymore of those smegging trash cans in our area?" asked Rimmer with a sigh. "No, not for the moment Arnold. Kristine and Marie are doing ok. I've been tricking a whole lot of them to go into airlocks and shooting them out into space. However, I'm not sure how Lister, Cat and the Doctor are faring. But, there are a few more Daleks out there." replied Holly. Double D was relieved to hear Marie was ok.

However, a bio-scan activated. "Scanning for microorganism." said the scanner as a beam of dull green light fanned out to scan. "Um, ok why am I being scanned for, I'm not sick or anything." asked Double D slightly worried. "No worries sir, the lab does this when a biological entity enters here." informed Kryten as proceeded to place the quantum rod into a carrying case. "Unusual microorganisms found!" said the scanner. Double D became really sick at this stomach, "Oh fuck! What did I catch?!" said he worried. Rimmer walked over to the scanner, "It's working right, Kryten do a medical scan on Edd here. We don't need him getting sick." Rimmer said dryly. Kryten took a scanner from the table nearby, "This won't hurt sir, and try not to worry." Kryten said assuringly. The scanner beeps near Double D's shoe. "Well, sir you have a positive virus!" said Kryten. "WHAT!? AM I GOING TO DIE!?"

Rapidly pacing back and forth Double D was freaking out about if he had a disease. Rimmer grabbed ahold of Double D and shook him. "IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU! It's a positive virus. Instead of making you sick, it gives you perks like making you more attractive to women, or increase you luck. Stuff like that." said Rimmer. Double D finally calmed himself, "Sorry gentlemen, I'm just a germophobe. That could explain why Marie was bit frisky earlier." replied Double D. At that instant, two explosions rocked the entire ship.

While Double D was freaking out, the Doctor, Lister, and Cat had set up the bombs they found in the shuttle onto the clamps holding the shuttle on the ship. "Alright, the detonator is set, all of you get inside now!" said the Doctor as he and the others went through the airlock. Once inside the ship, they closed the airlock doors and hid behind some crates. The bombs went off, ripping the shuttle's clamps off the hull. The trio cheered as they watched the shuttle float off in the vastness of space. "Rock n' Roll man!" cried Lister as he gave Cat a high five. "Yeah man, we be the baddest of the bad on this ship!" replied Cat. The Doctor smiled to say something, but then his face went into terror. Around the corner came in four Daleks. "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" they ranted as they approached them. However two of the Daleks' domes exploded without warning. "WHAT IS THE MEAN-" said the next to last one. But it was cut off when it's head blew up. The last one started to fire randomly. The Doctor and Lister took cover behind the crates while Cat leapt into a room across from them. This happened to be where his suits and fashion items were kept. However, his effort almost got him killed when a stray blast went into the room. He just barely got out of the way in time. But, this costed him dearly. "Whew that was...close." as he turned around and saw that all of his suits caught fire.

The Doctor and Lister together started to push the crate they were behind toward the Dalek. This drew the fire of the Dalek to the metal crate, thus distracting it. Then like the others, this Dalek also lost it's head. "Hold your fire, they're all gone!" yelled Lister as he stood up slowly from behind the crate. The Doctor ran over to Cat to check on him. The fire had been put out by the sprinkler system. Cat was on his knees watching his lovely suits being destroyed. "It's not fair. It's just not fair. They didn't do anything to hurt anyone. Those bastards took away my pride and joys." cried out Cat trying to coop that his suits were gone. "Come on Cat, we've got to get back to the cockpit now." said the Doctor as he pulled Cat of the room.

Around the corner, Marie and Kris met up with Lister, the Doctor, and the heartbroken Cat. "Hey, good to see that you all made it ok. Hope you didn't get by the shrapnel." said Kris as she reloaded her bazookanoid. "Nice shootin' Tex!" said Lister with a pretend cowboy accent as he came up and gave Kris a big hug. Marie smiling mentioned, "Yeah, we have took out nine or ten of them before this bunch. Also, Holly's been luring them into airlocks to through out into space." The Doctor walked up to Marie and said, "Excellent job! Now, let's regroup with Eddward, Rimmer, and Kryten. Let's hope they were successful too." So they continued to make their way to the cockpit. Meanwhile, there were still two Daleks that were not accounted for.

The crimson Dalek squad leader and the green Dalek Scientist noted that their numbers were quickly diminished and they could call for reinforcements. "WE MUST ACQUIRED THE QUANTUM ROD IMMEDIATELY! OUR NUMBERS HAVE BEEN SUBDUED. DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY!" said the leader as it faced the Dalek Scientist. "ONCE WE ACQUIRED IT, I HAVE BEEN AUTHORIZED BY THE DALEK SUPREME TO TEST THE LONG RANGE TRANSMAT DEVICE. SO THE ROD CAN BE DELIVERED WITHOUT DELAY!" said the Dalek Scientist in reply. "CONTINUE TO TRACE SIGNAL, THE QUANTUM ROD IS IN THE FAR SIDE OF THIS CORRIDOR. SEEK, LOCATE, EXTERMINATE!" ordered the squad leader. The duo of Daleks approached the science lab just as Double D, Kryten and Rimmer were coming out.

Holly appeared on the monitor to Lister and the others. "Hey dudes, you need to get down to the science lab now. The others are in deep trouble. The other two Daleks that weren't accounted for had shown up. they've locked themselves back in the lab they should remain safe for now." he informed the group. Struck by worry, the group quickly scrambled to get to them asap. However, an interesting development took place. Reaching the lab, the Dalek Scientist immediately exterminated the crimson Dalek. "YOU WERE A NECESSARY CAUSALITY. THE TRANSMAT BEAM CAN ONLY TAKE TWO AND ONE OF THOSE CREATURES HAVE THE ROD! TRANSMITTING COORDINATES TO BATTLESTATION!" Inside, Rimmer, Double D, and Kryten were placing everything they could to bar the door to keep the Dalek out. However, on Kryten's person he had the rod. "Ok sirs, that should keep him-" he tried to say a an aura of yellow light encircled him. The same happened to the Dalek outside and both of them disappeared. "Kryten!" yelled Double D and Rimmer in unison.

Holly appeared on the monitor. "The group's outside to help you three… wait, where's Kryten?" Double D and Rimmer dislodged everything. "They took him and the rod." said Rimmer as they got the door opened. The Doctor stood there with a grim look on his face and said, "Holly, I need you to do so some calculations for me. They will lead us to the Dalek's base so we can rescue Kryten."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kryten was immediately shocked to find himself surrounded by Daleks. "What is the meaning of this?" said Kryten, panicking. "SILENCE ROBOT! YOU WILL HAND OVER THE QUANTUM ROD NOW OR SUFFER EXTERMINATION!" said the red and gold Dalek Supreme. Kryten was shaking from fear as the bluish glowing, cyclopean eye of the Dalek. The Dalek Scientist came from behind and snatched the rod from his hand. "THE QUANTUM ROD HAS BEEN ACQUIRED. HOWEVER, THIS ROBOT HAS VITAL KNOWLEDGE ON THE ROD. WE WILL NEED HIM FUNCTIONAL UNTIL HE HAS TOLD US OF IT'S KNOWLEDGE." said the Scientist as it face the Dalek Supreme. "PROCEED TO THE POWERPLANT AND BEGIN INSTALLATION OF THE QUANTUM ROD!" ordered the Dalek Supreme. The Dalek Scientist and two Dalek soldiers escorted Kryten into the lower levels of the space station via elevator. Kryten, still frightened, remained silent considering saying anything would surely kill him.

As for the others, there was much to be done. "It was his fault, I was trying to keep the door shut." yelled at Rimmer as he was trying to shift the blame to Double D. Of course, it was the Daleks' fault, but trying to tell Rimmer that was impossible. The Doctor was becoming increasingly annoyed with Rimmer's stupidity. "ENOUGH! Say one word idiotic word, and I'll use the sonic to shut you up permanently." said the Doctor enraged. Lister and Kris were pacing around the commons trying to to think of a way to find Kryten. "Maybe there's some kind of trace we could follow, like some sort of radiation?" suggested Lister. "No, most teleportation devices use quantum entanglement to do so. That leaves no trace of any kind, or any signal to follow." said Kris depressed. Meanwhile, Cat was more so depressed at the fact that all of his suits were gone.

"Why, why, why? Those smegging trash cans had to destroy the only things that mattered in my life. I need to go kill myself, because I can't keep going around wearing the same thing. At least it's good enough to be my funeral suit…" continued Cat drowning in his own depressing self pity. He then proceeded to place his hands over his face and cry. In an attempt to calm him down and perhaps to keep him on task, Marie tried to talk to him. "You know, sometimes you need clear everything in order to come up with new things to take their place. Sure the suits you had were stylish and all, but you of all people, especially being the coolest cat around, can do even better." she said. Cat suddenly stopped crying and took in everything Marie had just said. "Hey, wait a minute, that's a great idea. Time to update my image. However, I am going to get even with those bastards." he said pridefully. He quickly went to his quarters to to draw up new ideas to make in his clothes. Double D looked up at her and smiled. "Good to see you're putting those psychology classes to good use. You just made him go in a complete 180." Double D said to her as he held her hand. "Yeah, I figured he was getting to be more annoying than Rimmer anyways." she said with a smirk.

Tension was certainly building all around. The Doctor was gritting his teeth hard. By demeanor you could easily tell he was uneasy. He glared violently out the window in the deep blackness of space. However, good news was about to make itself known when Holly popped up on the large monitor. "Hey dudes, I've got some great news for you all. I've completed the calculations, and if I understand right, this is where we should find Kryten if those trash cans are responsible of the pulses." said Holly cheerful. The Doctor jumped up and with an excited response asked simply, "Where?"

Meanwhile, the Daleks were screaming in excitement as well with their battle cry. "DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY! DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY! DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY!" they chanted over and over again about their 'victory' of acquiring the quantum rod. Down the battle station's powerplant lab, Kryten was getting the mechanoid equivalent of a headache from listening to all of the hate-filled creatures chanting. "Honestly, could you creatures say anything without repeating it over and over again." complained Kryten. However the Dalek guarding him had something to say about that. "SILENCE ROBOT!" it said rudely. Kryten quickly shut up and went about download his information into the Dalek computers while watch the green Dalek Scientist and a team of blue Specialists beginning to integrate the rod into the main powerplant. "PREPARE FOR INSTALLATION! SHUT DOWN TACHYON IMPULSE ARRAY! RESET THERMOCOUPLES!" dictated the Dalek Scientist as the specialists followed his orders.

While the guard turned his attention to the activity going on near the powerplant, Kryten decided to try something sneaky having the opportunity. 'I hope that the program breaking lessons that Mr. Lister gave me won't fail' he thought to himself as he rewrote the downloads with incorrect values. However the Dalek guard turned his attention back to Kryten. "CONTINUE YOUR TASK ROBOT! YOU WILL BE DISMANTLED SOON!" said the evil creature in the usual electronic pitch. Kryten continued his sabotage hoping that the others will rescue him. The installation team had completed their task. "INSTALLATION COMPLETE! WE ARE READY TO RESET WEAPON SYSTEMS! PREPARE ENERGY PARAMETERS AND CALCULATE POWER LEVELS! THREE KILO-REELS UNTIL SECOND TEST!" said the Dalek Scientist excitedly. Kryten was becoming even more so worried to the point of crying, but he could not with being blasted. He just continued downloading the falsified information in the hopes that it would somehow slow the Daleks down.

"20 parsecs away, we can fly Starbug in through those nebula clouds. The EM distortion would keep us hidden from their sensors and help us sneak around to a loading dock." said Kris to the others as they began to mount a rescue and to put an end to the Daleks' plans. The Doctor had went to his TARDIS to acquire a few devices that would allow for him to hack into the Daleks' data banks and computers. Marie was showing Double D how to use the bazookanoids. Lister and Rimmer began loading munitions and other tools they believe would be needed to help them on this mission. Cat on the other hand was preparing the Starbug for flight. The Doctor walked to the hanger with a flat tablet in his hand. "This data pad will help us hack the Daleks' computer systems. If I am correct we should be able to transmit any commands once we hook it up to the Starbug's communications systems." he said hurriedly as he showed the pad to Lister and Kris. "Ok then Doctor, we should be able to hook it up through the USB ports. Holly can transmit the coordinates to the Starbug?" ask Kris while talking to the Doctor. "Yes, I can do that Kristine. By the way while you are rescuing Kryten, I'll pilot the Red Dwarf into the densest parts of the nebula so that way you don't have to far travel back. It's times like this I wished I could say red alert." said Holly with a smirk. "No time for Star Trek references, we need you get to work." said Rimmer annoyed.

Once everything was loaded on board the Starbug, everyone climbed aboard and prepared to fight to the Daleks to get Kryten back. With Cat piloting and activated the engines and thrusters, "Ok guys and gals. Here we go to kick some smegging trash cans' asses. Hey, by the way, do those things have an ass?" said Cat. "Um… you know, I'm not sure considering the creature inside the armor looks like an octopus." said the Doctor mildly confused. Cat's question stirred a little laughter from Marie, Double, and Lister. "Oh come on now, there's no need for this childish behavior." said Rimmer, being a party-pooper as always. "What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish sometimes." said Marie in a retort. "Hey, I say the same exact thing." said the Doctor with a grin as the Starbug sped away to the nebula.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The gassy clouds of green and blue swirled past the Starbug like a kaleidoscope view as the shuttle went through them at top speed. It was certainly beautiful to look at, but it couldn't be enjoyed by the crew on board as the mission at hand had them all scared and ready to fight on a whim. "Alright, we're half way from the source, let's head for the denser parts of the nebula. But, hold on because it will get a little bumpy. So, make sure your safety belts ae on." said Kris as she read the navicomp. "Yeah, I think I should of had a few lagers before we did this. Helps the stomach out." said Lister feeling sick from the shaking cause by the turbulence. "Sure, having you drunk and on an important mission. That's an accident report in itself." said Rimmer, trying desperately to concentrate. Cat was completely silent as he piloted through the dense gas clouds.

Double D, sitting in the common room along with the Doctor and Marie, was getting severely sick at his stomach. "Ugh!" he said in discomfort leaning on Marie. "Are you ok? You look like you have a bad case of motion sickness, babe." said Marie concerned and rubbing his side. The Doctor took notice, and quickly digged through his seemingly limitless pockets. "Ginger beer, good for upset stomachs and motion sickness. Here you go Eddward." offered the Doctor. "T-thank you, ugh." replied Double D as he took the can from the Doctor. Afterwards he began to sip on it slowly. Kris stepped in, "How are you holding up?" she said checking on them. "Except for Double D, we're fine. He's just motion sick." said Marie continuing to pet her sick boyfriend. Holly appeared in the monitor. "Hey dudes, I picked up another fix from the source. A lot of radio traffic. This tells me there could be some sort of space station of some kind over there. Or, I've picked up telemundo again." said Holly informing Kris and the Doctor. "Well, I'm sure you're correct that there's a space station Holly. More than likely a battle station knowing Daleks." said the Doctor confirming Holly's hypothesis.

Kryten was getting anxious more so as every passing minute brought him closer to doom. 'I'm not ready for Silicon Heaven yet! so much I haven't done, like cleaning the engine room on V deck on the Red Dwarf! Or make Mr. Lister's socks soft.' saying to himself in thought algorithms. However, he did buy more time by stalling the calculations. "ROBOT, YOU WILL REMAIN USEFUL! CONTINUE DOWNLOADS IMMEDIATELY! IMMEDIATELY!" barked the Dalek Scientist as it went about with the Specialist team checking all of the systems. "GRAVITATIONAL READINGS HAVE CONFIRMED STABILITY WITHIN THE QUANTUM ROD'S ENERGY FIELD, CONTINUE WITH POWER UP SEQUENCE." remarked one of the blue subordinates. Overhearing this, Kryten had a wonderful idea. 'Gravity would be an excellent means of destroying these vile creatures and their weapon.' Going over him downloads, he rewrote several lines of code, giving a higher gravitational constant. 'Just high enough to where those smeeee..heeee..s won't notice.' Looking at the guard, "Excuse me, I have completed the downloads." said Kryten to the overbearing Dalek. "YOU WILL PROCEED TO THE LOADING DOCKS. WE WILL SHOOT YOU INTO THE PROTOSTAR!" said the Dalek. "Well, won't it be more efficient to fire your gunstick at me instead?" asked Kryten out of curiosity. "DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS! PROCEED TO THE LOADING DOCK!" thundered the Dalek in annoyance.

"Oh smegging hell, look at the size of that station!" cried out Rimmer in fear. The Starbug was within visual range of the battle station. Everyone crowded the cockpit looking upon the the station overly bloated with military units galore. "Hey guys, we're going to fly under the thing, but I'm thinking they will detect us…" said Cat but was cut off by an attack. Lasers and plasma bolts started at flying at them. "Nevermind, prepared for evasive maneuvers!" yelled Cat as he gave a sudden jerk to the controls. The Starbug narrowly misses the blasts as it flew beneath the station. However, while they were safe from the anti-ship cannons, black and grey Dalek Fighters soon tailed them. "TARGET ACQUIRED, ALL UNITS FIRE AT WILL!" said the lead Dalek as they zoomed in to to take a shot at Starbug. "Whoa, we've got three tangos coming in our backside, hold on everyone!" screamed Lister. "Hold on, I have an idea!" yelled Kris as she went into the back of the ship. Taking hint of her idea, the Doctor followed, "Eddward, Marie stay here." he said following Kris.

Being escorted by Daleks, Kryten began saying his version of prayers, truly believing this was the end. However, he took solace in the fact that he had a surprise for the Daleks, and he marched proudly to the loading dock. But, he had a sight of hope as a fiery blast signified the turning tide of the battle. "Go Starbug!" he said as he was pushed out of the loading bay by the Daleks. Now, Kryten was adrift in space, being pulled by the protostar's gravity. However, it did give him a great view of the space battle over head. The blast from earlier had resulted from Kris's idea. She, along with the Doctor took a couple of the bazookanoids and put on some space suits tying themselves to the inside of the airlock so they could fire the guns out at the Dalek Fighters. This was effective considering the Daleks were not suspecting it. However, the twisting and turning of the Starbug caused the the Doctor and Kris to stumble outside to the hull. The Doctor's helmet radio was smashed against the deck plate. Kris screamed "DAVE! HELP US!" as she held on to the Doctor who in turn held on to the door of the airlock.

In the cockpit, Lister overheard the transmission, "Rimmer come on let's go help them! I'm coming Krissy!" Lister got up quickly and ran to the rear of the ship, while stumbling as Starbug avoided the fire and debris. Passing by, Rimmer told Double D and Marie, "You two go help Cat keep an eye for fighters. The monitors should be easy for you to read." Marie and Double D nodded and quickly ran into the cockpit to help Cat. Meanwhile Kryten ws drifting silently on his path to the protostar. However, no longer stressed, had finally realized he could signal the Starbug to pick him up. Tuning his chest tuner, he beamed a signal to Starbug. Kryten floated while he diverted his power to the signal so it can be stronger. 'Time to go offline, I do hope they can rescue, otherwise I'll be offline permanently.' he thought to himself. But, there was more excitement with the Doctor and Kris hanging on for dear life.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"EXTERMINATE THE INTRUDERS! EXTERMINATE THEM! IMMEDIATELY! IMMEDIATELY!" boomed the Dalek Supreme as it was informed of the Starbug flying around the battle station by a yellow communications Dalek. The Dalek Scientist intervened, "WE MUST HAVE MINIMAL INTERFERENCE IN THE TEST AREA! DIRECT THE INTRUDERS AWAY FROM THE TEST GROUND!" The several higher rank Daleks confirmed their orders and proceeded to carry them out. "DALEK SUPREME, WE ARE BEGINNING FINAL SYSTEMS CHECK, THEN WE WILL TEST THE TACHYON IMPULSE BEAM!" said the Dalek Scientist to the Dalek Supreme. "AFFIRMATIVE! YOU ARE IN COMMAND, I AM ORDERED TO RETURN TO SKARO BY THE EMPEROR." said the Dalek Supreme as he continued to the docking bay to it's cruiser. Little either of them realized that there was a ticking time bomb counting down below them.

However thing weren't as easy for the Doctor and Kris as they clinged to the side of the airlock door. The Doctor was getting more exhausted since he the one holding on to the actual ship while Kris had her arms around his waist. There was too much adrenaline going around to make the situation awkward. Lister and Rimmer had made it to the airlock, but Lister was shocked to see there was not anymore space suits. "Oh smeg, Rimmer you'll have to go out there to get them. I'll tie a rope to you so you can pull them in." said Lister trying to think quickly. "Wait a minute, melado, what makes you think I'll go out there, hm?!" said Rimmer offended. Lister picking up the Doctor's sonic screwdriver on his things in the space suit locker and pointing it at Rimmer, "You will or I'll use this thing to scramble your programing on your personality disc." threatened Lister. After gasping Rimmer, "Oh alright, I guess I can get a promotion for this. Tie away Listy!" Lister immediately got a spacewalk line and tied it around Rimmer. Being a hologram, Rimmer wouldn't be affected by the vacuum and his light bee would allow him to be gyroscopically stable. Lister opened the airlock and told Kris on the radio, "Rimmer is coming out to you and the Doctor. Just hold on a little longer." said Lister worried as he watch Rimmer walk out to the exit.

Meanwhile, Double D and Marie had been giving Cat cues on where fighters were but all of the sudden they had stopped firing. "That's weird, where's the fighters?" asked Double D as he scanned the immediate area. "I know right, I don't smell anything funny. Hey blue, try calling Holly and see if he has detected anything. Just press that yellow flashing button." said Cat as he continued flying. Up ahead there was a large explosion. "WHOA!" said all three of them as they saw. Marie went ahead and called Holly. "Holly, where's the fighters? We're not getting any on our scope." said Marie still a little stunned by the sight of the blast. "Well, the fighters are coming after me instead. Bigger targets draw fire better." replied Holly. "Hey man! You're going to get blown up doing that." said Cat. "No worries, before you left, the Doctor turned on some sort of force field from his vessel and extended it around the ship. So far they haven't been able to penetrate the shield." informed Holly. Sighing in relief, the trio found something on the scanner, "Hey Holly, we're picking up a weak signal, can you identify it?" ask Double D. Holly responded in kind, "Yeah, hold on. Bloody hell! It's Kryten and he's falling into the protostar. You can swing in and catch him." Cat looked on the monitor and said "Hold on Buddy we're coming. Edd, go tell the others!" he said with a smile.

Outside the Starbug, Rimmer reached the Doctor and Kris. First he grabbed Kris's hand and pulled her toward to the door. "Thanks Rimmer!" she said over the radio. Without Kris holding on to him, the Doctor managed to use the last of his strength to pull himself to the door frame and Rimmer helped him get inside. Inside the shuttle, Lister ran up to Kris. "What were you thinking, I could of lost…" Lister said being cut off by Kris kissing him. The Doctor took off his helmet and said "Thank you!" Then, the Doctor staggered to a chair exhausted from the recent experience. Double D came into the room as soon as Kris broke off the kiss with Lister. "Hey everyone, we found Kryten, it looks like the Daleks jettisoned him. We're on route to catch him." said Double D. Rimmer spoke up, "All of you stay in here, I'm still tethered to the Starbug, so I'll get him to when we get to him."

The Starbug swooped in to intercept the now lifeless body of Kryten. Taking a risk, Cat slowed down so Rimmer can grab him. "Rimmer's got him, let's get the rod back!" said Lister as he and Double D pulled them in. "He's powered down, we'll have to link him up." said Rimmer. Lister and Rimmer pulled Kryten to a power outlet, and plugged him in. "Kryten you ok?" asked Lister. Kryten powered up. "Yes sir, but we need to get out of here now!" said Kryten frantically. "Why? We need to get the quantum rod back." said Kris. "Because, I've programed the Daleks' devices to cause the quantum rod to have an imploding gravity well." The Doctor looked up and remarked, "Basically, you've programed it to become a black hole. Brilliant, just need to get out of here before they test the weapon again." Just as the Doctor finished, the whole shuttle shook. Everyone hit the floor. Marie came running in and fell. Fortunately, Double D caught her. "They fired another pulse."

"ALERT! ALERT! TESTING HAS BEEN FLAWED! TESTING HAS BEEN FLAWED! THERE'S AN INSTABILITY IN THE QUANTUM ROD." screamed the Dalek Scientist as the station began to collapse on itself. The gravity well kept all of the Daleks in place as well as their orbiting ships. However, the Starbug struggled to get to the Red Dwarf. "Come on Starbug you make it! Just a little more acceleration! Hey guys, we may need to jettison more things so we can get more acceleration." said the Cat trying to force the Starbug back to the Red Dwarf. Everyone scrambled to take anything that wasn't needed by them and put it in the airlock. As soon as it was filled to the brim, Lister emptied the airlock. "That's it Cat!" said Lister. The loss in weight gave the Starbug just enough of a break to get to the Red Dwarf. The remains of the Dalek battle station was crush and swept into the newly formed singularity.

Back on the ship, the crew found out some terrible news from Holly. "Hey dudes, I do have some bad news. I will not be able to escape with you. The Red Dwarf's engines were damaged. Even though the Doctor's ship was able to shield against the incoming fire of the Daleks, it couldn't protect the ship from the pulse. It knocked out the engines and a lot of other systems. The only way out is to escape on the Doctor ship." said the sad but calm AI. Lister, Rimmer, Cat, Kryten, and Kris were all dumbstruck at Holly's words. "No, no, no! Holly, we can download you into a new data core or something!" cried Lister as he broke down.

"Dave, since the accident, it was my job to keep you safe until you and your friends were able to reach Earth. Judging by the Doctor's ship and nature, I'm sure he would happily give you a lift back to Earth far easier than I could. I am unable to get you or the other back to Earth anyways because the engines are damage beyond repair. However, I will keep you safe. I will need to remain on the ship to make sure to buy you enough time to get away by stabilizing the orbit around the black hole. Besides the components you used to repair me would not allow a download. Sorry everyone, but I'm doing this to keep you all safe. It's the only that's kept me going all these years. Good bye." said Holly as his screen went black.

The Red Dwarf stood in silence as they took in what they witnessed as the last time they talked to Holly. Kris held Dave as he let it all out. Rimmer walked over to Kryten and Cat as they leaned on one another for support being torn up at the loss of a friend. The Doctor and Double D, removing their hats out of respect, while Marie cried on Double D's shoulder. "W-(sniffle) well let's the smeg out of here. Doctor, let's go." said Lister as he and the other went to gather their things and abandoned ship. On board the TARDIS, the Doctor went to work on the controls and quickly got them off the doomed Red Dwarf. VROOMPH VROOMPH VROOMPH The TARDIS materialized outside of the event horizon of the black hole. "Doctor, we want to watch…" said Rimmer. The Doctor nodded, and turned on the monitor. The dull red colored vessel started it's swirl into the center, faster and faster it went with each turn. Then, finally it became disintegrated as it fell into the singularity.


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue

The TARDIS landed outside of 24th century London. VROOMPH VROOMPH VROOMPH "I am so sorry. You're back home and in the correct time as well. Also, here's a box with things you may need to start a new life with. Money and other things are in it. Also, Rimmer…" said the Doctor as he pulled out his sonic screw driver. "There you are, that annoying letter 'H' is off your forehead. I hate long goodbyes, so goodbye and I wish you all the very best." he said with a grin. The crew thanked and shook hands with the Doctor and his companions. "Goodbye Doctor, and Thank you so very much for your help. Holly was right about you. So long." Lister walk up beside Kris and the Red Dwarfers walked into the city with heads held high. The TARDIS once again, dematerializes. VROOMPH VROOMPH VROOMPH "Alright, who wants to take a vacation?" said the Doctor sitting down in a chair near the console. Marie and Double D didn't answer. They both were asleep on the couch across the room from the Doctor. "I thought so, he he."

Next Time on Doctor Who:  Recovering from their last adventure, the Doctor, Double D, and Marie just have a day off. What is it like to have an 'average' day on the TARDIS.


End file.
